Whew

After three months of uncertainties, I'm back to the ground. To summarize the past three months would take a short novel on its own...the ideologies, theories, and revelations have given me so much to ponder. I've grown, I've learned, I've discovered, and I've cried...lots.
The first step was to accept the fact that western society IS real. I grew to accept not only that life exists in a third world country and not on a world vision broadcast, but also that life exists here with oversized heavy machinery (hummers) acting as toys for driving pleasure and constant greed of commercialism and corporations.

In all this struggle to come back to earth - I felt like I was in transition...stuck in transition (there is such truth to Bill Murray's character) - I was also anticipating the arrival of a traveling partner, a love, and a beautiful friend. I had fallen in love and a month had past before we had a chance to meet again. I was excited and relieved to have conversations with someone who knew about life 'over there'. In all this anticipation of course I had embellished in which direction life could go. I learned, however, that people change. Not of who there are, but of where they want to go, of what they desire, and how they want to play out the next day. With this, I also learned that I am a passionate person with a great desire to feel. I've been known to push boundaries, however my aboriginal elder says that it's just passion so embrace it...I'm going to go with her on that.

It took me three weeks to finally step outside of my home in Athabasca. It took me 9 weeks to look at the footage I shot in Cambodia. At eleven weeks, I finally stood in front a crowd to talk about the water in Cambodia and the water in Alberta. I discovered how people are hungry to learn. I could have talked about so many things relating to Cambodia. Since my passion is water as a right...not a privilege...I shared my experiences with teens, parents, teachers, laborers, managers, and they all wanted to hear more or how they could get involved. There is a sense of discovery. If people are interested in hearing my story, I will forever share.
I also discovered that the combination of food poisoning (times three), lack of red meat, and falling into toxic waste does have an effect on the body, no matter how strong the mind is. All is good, but damn, I tired of those fucken needles.

With the pressure mounting to run a facility and a program with little direction, desire to reach out, steal money, and give it to Khmers in need, and the constant learning in how my heart feels and desires love, I cried. Lee had told me that crying is a beautiful release of garbage and other emotional shit that has built up in our body, heart, and mind. When did you cry last? For me, it was in Bangkok, after spending two weeks in Phnom Penh on my own. I learned paranoia, distrust, corruption, slavery, drug abuse, pedafiles, and prostitution. So, I had every right to melt down and I thank the goddess that it was in Jacquie's arms...safe and trusting. The next time you feel like crying, you have your reasons, so let it go. Once I let go of all the bullshit stress and pressure, humor, laughter, and beauty and opened herself to my realm.

There's lots to come ahead....FCF news, Fluid Rights (my soon to be business), Skydiving (with Jacquie...teehee), and a jam packed summer in the Boreal Forest.
Peace and Love