Come along and give

"Don't be like the leaders of western culture...they seem to forget that there are real people trying to live as human beings."

What ever it is...love, money, time, used tools...it is worth sharing. Ever wonder why a smile to a stranger confuses people. Quick, someone is looking at you and so, you send a smile and wave. The first question is, "Who's that? Do you know that person?" First of all, I don't think I will ever really KNOW anyone. I have my own thoughts, and methods of analyzing people, that would more than likely be different than how that actual person thinks or feels. Questions help, but as my day changes and I experience something new everyday, altering perceptions from the day before, I can be assured that it happens to many others.

Second, why is it not 'normal' to send a wave to another curious human being. There are so many times that I wonder where and when was the human interaction lost. I don't mean social life since there is an obvious abundance of social activities and gatherings...it's the personable awareness that intrigues me. There was once a time when people could interact through dreams (and not be considered supernatural) and be guided by ancestors through spirit and vision, not home videos and family photos. This phenomenon can still be felt in rich cultures like Laos and Tikkal. I have met some of the most interesting people who derive from incredible ancestory. Knowingly or oblivious to the fact, one can sense understanding in another by simply engaging consciously with the intent to understand...not to judge or change that person but by simply being aware of this person's energy. Mmmm, this may getting to be too much.

If we, as regular Joannes became a little more intuitive to our own surroundings, feeling comfortable in our own skin, it may be the first step in realizing that we are human beings with a soul or spirit of some sort. This is not an attempt to connect or reconnect people into a religious or spiritual existence, I am simply saying...awareness. From the everyday-bus-driver's eyes to your friends favorite non-liquor drink to that chirpy bird outside the window (do you know what it even looks like?). The details are important...the sun will always set on the horizon so take notice of the shit that changes every night between you and the sun. Take a gander at what reflects the light, what color the buildings turn, and how the land prepares for nightfall.

Don't be like the leaders of western culture...they seem to forget that there are real people trying to live as human beings.

Whew

After three months of uncertainties, I'm back to the ground. To summarize the past three months would take a short novel on its own...the ideologies, theories, and revelations have given me so much to ponder. I've grown, I've learned, I've discovered, and I've cried...lots.
The first step was to accept the fact that western society IS real. I grew to accept not only that life exists in a third world country and not on a world vision broadcast, but also that life exists here with oversized heavy machinery (hummers) acting as toys for driving pleasure and constant greed of commercialism and corporations.

In all this struggle to come back to earth - I felt like I was in transition...stuck in transition (there is such truth to Bill Murray's character) - I was also anticipating the arrival of a traveling partner, a love, and a beautiful friend. I had fallen in love and a month had past before we had a chance to meet again. I was excited and relieved to have conversations with someone who knew about life 'over there'. In all this anticipation of course I had embellished in which direction life could go. I learned, however, that people change. Not of who there are, but of where they want to go, of what they desire, and how they want to play out the next day. With this, I also learned that I am a passionate person with a great desire to feel. I've been known to push boundaries, however my aboriginal elder says that it's just passion so embrace it...I'm going to go with her on that.

It took me three weeks to finally step outside of my home in Athabasca. It took me 9 weeks to look at the footage I shot in Cambodia. At eleven weeks, I finally stood in front a crowd to talk about the water in Cambodia and the water in Alberta. I discovered how people are hungry to learn. I could have talked about so many things relating to Cambodia. Since my passion is water as a right...not a privilege...I shared my experiences with teens, parents, teachers, laborers, managers, and they all wanted to hear more or how they could get involved. There is a sense of discovery. If people are interested in hearing my story, I will forever share.
I also discovered that the combination of food poisoning (times three), lack of red meat, and falling into toxic waste does have an effect on the body, no matter how strong the mind is. All is good, but damn, I tired of those fucken needles.

With the pressure mounting to run a facility and a program with little direction, desire to reach out, steal money, and give it to Khmers in need, and the constant learning in how my heart feels and desires love, I cried. Lee had told me that crying is a beautiful release of garbage and other emotional shit that has built up in our body, heart, and mind. When did you cry last? For me, it was in Bangkok, after spending two weeks in Phnom Penh on my own. I learned paranoia, distrust, corruption, slavery, drug abuse, pedafiles, and prostitution. So, I had every right to melt down and I thank the goddess that it was in Jacquie's arms...safe and trusting. The next time you feel like crying, you have your reasons, so let it go. Once I let go of all the bullshit stress and pressure, humor, laughter, and beauty and opened herself to my realm.

There's lots to come ahead....FCF news, Fluid Rights (my soon to be business), Skydiving (with Jacquie...teehee), and a jam packed summer in the Boreal Forest.
Peace and Love